Whilst 'enjoying' the flu this week, I have been watching old Christmas movies every day, from a list that purports to contain '50 of the best Christmas movies ever'. Some of these are actually pretty good, some pretty bad -- but what I note in almost all is the memories they bring back, for I remember the periods during which they first appeared, or during which I first watched them. Some are from the 70's, and I remember being in college, or just out of college and with my first wife. And then some are from the 80's, and I remember watching them with my little boy. There are a few that I have not seen, nor ever heard of. One of these is a trilogy featuring Peter Falk, whom the reader may remember as Columbo in the TV detective series. In this trilogy, he plays a rather unlikely angel, a 'field agent' from heaven who is tasked each Christmas season with helping one or a number of people in challenging situations. The first in the series is rather inventive, the second rather not, but in the third we have a truly classic sequence wherein Falk plays a female character! One can hardly think of anything more unlikely than Peter Falk as a female, but the amazing thing is that he pulls it off beautifully. Dustin Hoffman has nothing on old Peter. The gestures and inflections are perfect, and hilarious. It is just a short scene, but worth watching the whole movie to see the one scene. (Or perhaps in my weakened, bleary condition, I am easily amused?). Ah well ... this hobby brings some Christmas cheer, which is so far in short supply this year.
My Life in Bali, Multiple Sclerosis, Literature, Politics, Travels, and Other Amusements
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Tuesday, December 5, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
Flooo
Boy have I been miserable the last few days. I have had a flu and thought that I was nearly at the end of the thing, but then it came back full force, with a sore throat added in. I am told by a friend, also currently suffering this flu, that this is actually one infection on top of another and that many people have been so stricken. These things seem at their worst in the 'winter' weather here, a stifling, oppressive, airless humidity which seems a perfect vehicle for the conveyance of such viruses. Nor does it help with the symptoms once you have them. So I spent most of yesterday in the air-conditioned bedroom of my little house. This morning, I have made it over to Starbucks, so I guess I must be feeling a little better. The music from A Charlie Brown Christmas helps too!
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Peace on Earth
Tis the Season for denials of the man of the season - Christ the Lord. So here come the memes and the comics, accusations and insults falling on those who 'believe in fairy tales'. Here, the child is crucified while still in the manger, for, you see, he never lived. Or so we are told by the memes, and by the champions of the memes. And I wonder why, especially at Christmas time -- why is this denial so urgent for some? Why does it matter, when silence would be so much more respectful and graceful. Is it so hard to see that, for those of us who love the Lord, these judgements and disparagements are akin to assaults on a beloved mother or wife? Why have you bothered, if not to introduce hate into the season of love? If you are called to disbelief, then disbelieve, and go in peace, while allowing those who believe to believe in peace as well.
Please on earth. Goodwill toward men.
Please on earth. Goodwill toward men.
One Night
I do not
remember what month it was. I remember rain, and that it was night, and that it
was cold.
There are
some things that happen whereof memory records but a vague impression, for the
mind commits itself in those moments to an urgent need to move forward,
believes in some deep and unreasoning way that if one moves quickly enough, one
may actually move backward in time, undo what has been done, precede rather
than proceed. We believe in those first emergent moments that wholeness may be
restored, just as we believe that the suddenly severed arm may be pressed back
into place and all will be well, as long as the repair is accomplished quickly
enough, and thus essentially erased, as if it had never happened.
I will call
the one person in this story ‘the man’ and the other ‘the woman’. I will say
that they had argued that night and fought. They may have fought about money,
or infidelity, or both. I do not remember. They may have fought about everything.
They may have spoken of divorce. I do know that the man had said he was leaving
the woman. I know that even then he wished that the right words could somehow
undo painful events, could bring back what had been taken away – and he thought
of it that way: that it had been taken rather than gone.
For a short
time, the man left the bedroom. He wandered the house in the dead of night,
entered each room as if to stabilize the crumbling structure with his presence,
and then he went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom to take a Vicodin
tablet to calm his nerves.
And found
the entire bottle, the prescription he had filled just this day, empty.
In the
bedroom, the woman lay, already unconscious.
The man
touches the woman. No response. He shakes her.
“What did you do?” he says loudly. “Did you take these pills?” He shakes the empty, silent bottle.
“Leave me
alone,” she mutters.
He searches
the bedcovers, the tabletop, the floor.
“Did you
take this entire bottle? Did you swallow these pills?”
She shakes
her head, turns her face to the pillow. “Just let me sleep” she says. “It
doesn’t matter.”
Now the
man’s heart is pounding like a drum. His breath is short. He feels as if he
himself has swallowed an entire bottle of pills. And he moves, racing to catch
up with his heart. He lifts the woman to a sitting position, and she struggles
against him lazily. “Just leave me,” she says. He puts his shoulder to her
stomach, rises to his feet.
“Stay
awake!” he demands, rushing with his burden through the darkened house,
thumping against walls and doors along the way. “Stay awake. Help me! We’ve got
to go right now!”
“My coat,”
she says, catching the doorknob to the closet, sliding down to her feet. She’s
standing, swaying. The man helps her with the coat, holding her erect beneath
his arm. “I think I’m okay,” she says. “I just need to lie down.”
“No,” the
man says. “You’re not okay. You just took an entire bottle of Vicodin. Good
Christ! The entire bottle! We’ve got to get to the hospital now!”
She is
walking, after a fashion. They are walking together after a fashion, like a
couple in a potato sack race. On the porch, he turns to lock the door, and she
falls to her knees. The man kneels, leaving the door open. There is no time. He
throws her over his shoulder once more, carries her through the pelting rain.
He has forgotten his glasses. He has no coat. The woman manages to stand again
by the car, and then slide into the passenger side seat. It is night. It is
raining. The park way is muddy. The hospital is just a short distance away. He
knows this well, because he works there. He goes there almost every day. But he
has never been there on a day like this.
It takes perhaps 7 minutes, at perhaps 70 miles per hour,
never mind the traffic lights. By the time he pulls up to the Emergency
Department entrance, she is more conscious than she had been earlier. She has
begun to understand what she has done. In a practical way. She understands that
she is in trouble. “I’m nauseous,” she says. She walks beside him, needing only
one arm around her waist, trying to hurry. She struggles to make a certain
appearance, because here they are, with people looking on, facing sober clerks,
business-like, professional.
As for the man, he cannot believe that they want names,
insurance cards, needless things. What is needful is that somebody do something
now!
“There she goes,” the admitting clerk says, rising from her
chair as the woman falls to the floor.
A stretcher is brought. People begin to move more quickly. The
man is enormously grateful. People waiting less urgently in the waiting room
rise to their feet to see what is happening.
In the ER, a team of doctors and aides goes to work, gracing
the man’s own panic with a calming sense of purposeful sobriety. He knows most
of the doctors on duty, and for this reason they allow him to stay in the room.
He stands in the corner, pinned in, trapped by the motion. IV lines are
established, injections are administered. The woman vomits. She begins to cry,
revived by fear. She looks at the man in the corner, so far away. He thinks
that he may never see her eyes again. May never see them again. And he too
begins to cry, and immediately dashes the tears away with the back of his hand.
And the man makes a solemn promise that moment to himself, to
his God, to all gods; to the sky and to the earth; upon his heart and upon his
soul – regardless of pleasure and regardless of pain; regardless of person or
want or hardship or pride -- I will never,
in any way, nor forevermore, allow any harm to come to this woman. I will lay
down my life, I will make of my heart an altar, I will fashion of my soul a
shield and strong tower, and I will never forsake nor forget my cause.
And so did the man. So did he until done. And when all was
done and accomplished, he rested.
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Gifted
My father had a special talent for purchasing the perfectly inappropriate or unwanted Christmas gift. For us boys - my brother and I - this could work out quite nicely on occasion. BB guns, for instance, were as perfectly inappropriate as a thing could possibly be -- and it was my mother, I think, who had originally coined the now common warning, 'You'll shoot your eye out". Yet, we both received one, thanks to dad, who had obviously, and probably purposefully, not checked his list against my mother's desires. Less fortunate were some of the gifts he proferred upon her. Certain dresses, for instance -- strange, gaudy, unusually colorful things which would take my mother's breath away, though not in a good way. And these he would give with great pride and flair, for he honestly believed them to be great treasures (and gotten at such a low price on sale!). I will say for my mother, angel that she was, that she did her best to 'stifle her lack of enthusiasm', so to speak. She might possibly ponder out loud, though with a polite sort of grace, 'But where would I possibly wear a dress like this?', and then place the thing admiringly back into its box, moving on swiftly to the next unopened gift.
I like to think that my dad passed some dim shade of this talent on to me; and I will say for myself that I have been the sponsor of several much hated gifts. I cannot say, however, that the beneficiaries of my efforts were quite so humble as dear old mom. I remember, specifically, a billowy red blouse that I wrapped up for my second wife; nor can I forget the horror on her face upon first (and last) inspection of the thing. One might have thought I had strangled a kitten before her eyes. "What the hell is this?" she said. "It looks like something a Texas whore would wear! Do I look like a Texas whore to you?"
I could not say, of course, for I had never been to Texas, and had never seen the particular sort of whore that the State apparently specializes in. I did understand, however, that she did not like this gift at all -- though I would have much preferred it had she asked, like my mother, where she might possibly wear such a lavish garment, and then silently tucked it away into history
Well, there were other insults awaiting other Christmases, though little by little, I learned the value of more neutral efforts, or, indeed, strict adherence to a specific list. And yet, I would forward one piece of advice this Christmas for those who find themselves faced with the un-asked for, unwanted, unseemly offering: Remember that to the giver of the gift, this looked something like the love that inspired him. You may never be able to wear that love in public, but it is a worthy clothing for the heart that receives it with knowledge of the intent in kind.
Laughing and Weeping
PBA, or PseudoBulbar Affect, is one of the stranger symptoms associated with multiple sclerosis and other neurologic maladies (such as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's).This is the inclination, sometimes without reason, sometimes with little reason, to suddenly burst into laughter or tears. I do not say that I have PBA. I do say, however, that I am much more inclined to laugh or to cry than I used to be, though I think this is more a symptom of older age and a softer heart.
In my life, it may be said that I have tended to be rather reserved or guarded (the fault of my father, I'm sure). There was a day when I could not understand people who would cry during a movie, for instance. It is a surprise, therefore, to find myself in tears nowadays while viewing a sad scene in a movie. Last night, for instance, I was watching A Christmas Carol (the '80s version with George C. Scott), and found myself weeping over poor Tiny Tim, over the ownerless crutch in the chimney corner, over the Spirit's pointed scolding of Scrooge for his hard-heartedness and lack of charity.
"Man," said the ghost, "if man you be in heart, not adamant, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered What the surplus is, and Where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child. Oh God! to hear the Insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust!"
Yup, that made me cry.
Perhaps it has something to do, as well, with the callous, unkind times in which we live. It seems that the Ghost may as well have been talking to a certain American president.
Cannabis for MS
I was asked recently to post the following article on the beneficial effects of cannabis in multiple sclerosis. I do personally know some folks who use it for symptoms and feel that it is significantly helpful. I'd try it myself if it weren't strictly illegal here in Indonesia. Hell, I'd try shooting up heroin for the worst pains. Well, maybe not ... but you know what I mean. In any case, the article is reproduced below.
How Cannabis Can Help with Multiple Sclerosis
Cannabis can help you get your life back if you are suffering from MS
Multiple Sclerosis is a scary disease, and researchers still don’t know its exact causes or how to prevent it. Once again, it’s cannabis to the rescue! Cannabis has been successful in mitigating the symptoms of MS, from alleviating pain to controlling muscle spasms. So how exactly does this work? Find out here!
Overview
● What is multiple sclerosis?
● What current treatments are available for MS?
● How is cannabis effective is treating symptoms of multiple sclerosis?
What is multiple sclerosis?
Multiple sclerosis is a nervous system disease that damages your brain and spinal cord. It attacks the myelin sheath, which is the material that protects your nerve cells. This blocks and impedes messages between your brain and body. Researchers believe this to be an autoimmune disease, meaning the immune system attacks healthy, normal cells by mistake. Unfortunately, the exact cause of the disease is still unknown.
There is no definitive test that doctors administer to identify MS in patients. Instead, doctors examine medical histories, MRIs, and neurological exams to diagnose it. MS tends to appear in women more than men, with the average age of diagnosis ranging from the ages of 20 to 40. Symptoms of MS include:
● Muscle weakness
● Poor coordination or balance
● Numbness, the sensation of pins and needles, or prickling feeling
● Visual disturbances
● Problems with memory or thinking
Symptoms of MS can make you feel completely alone
There is no known cure for MS, but there are several treatments available, with varying degrees of effectiveness.
What current treatments are available for MS?
For some people, MS only manifests in mild symptoms; for others, the symptoms are much more severe. Since there is no known cure for MS, treatments focus on slowing down the progression of the disease and managing symptoms. These include:
● Beta interferons: These are the most common medications prescribed for MS. They are injected under the skin or into the muscle in order to reduce the frequencies of relapses. Blood tests are needed to monitor liver enzymes, as liver damage could result from interferon use.
● Physical Therapy: It is common for MS patients to undergo physical therapy, as it helps manage leg weakness. Physical therapists also teach MS patients how to use different devices to make daily tasks easier.
● Muscle Relaxants: Often times, MS patients experience muscle spasms or stiffness, particularly in the legs. Doctors prescribe muscle relaxants, such as Lioresal and Zanaflex, to ease these symptoms.
● Medications: Because the symptoms of MS vary, different medications might be prescribed to deal with the various effects. Doctors might prescribe medication for depression, fatigue, pain, bladder or bowel control problems, and sexual dysfunction.
Many medications are prescribed to MS patients, but they may not cover all the symptoms
Because there is no “one-size-fits-all” treatment for MS, many medications and treatments that doctors prescribe don’t protect patients from every symptom. That’s where cannabis comes in.
How is cannabis effective is treating symptoms of multiple sclerosis?
Cannabis works in many different ways to combat multiple sclerosis. Take a look at the many healing properties of this miraculous plant!
1. Cannabis reduces inflammation
When immune cells in MS patients activate, they release proteins called cytokines that cause inflammation of the brain. The most active components in cannabis, cannabinoids, reduce inflammation and deactivate the immune system, which stops the assault on the central nervous system.
2. Cannabis reduces pain
Inflammation and pain are like two peas in a hellish pod. When inflammation is reduced, pain is lessened. Cannabinoids also engage the pain receptors and work as an analgesic.
3. Cannabis helps digestion
MS patients often experience gastrointestinal difficulties. Once again, it’s cannabis’ anti-inflammatory properties to the rescue! Cannabinoids engage with immune cells and reduce inflammation in the bowels. Cannabis also reduces nausea and acts as an appetite stimulant, which gets MS patients on the right digestive tract!
Gastrointestinal distress can make living with MS a daily nightmare
4. Cannabis helps your eyes
One common symptom of MS is blurriness of vision. MS causes inflammation of the optic nerve, resulting in impaired vision until the swelling subsides. Cannabis reduces the inflammation of the optic nerve (this is why it is recommended for degenerative eye diseases such as glaucoma).
5. Cannabis helps you sleep
For people living with chronic pain, simply falling asleep can be a formidable task. Cannabis can not only help you to fall asleep faster, but it puts you in a deeper sleep. During deep sleep, your body repairs itself by rebuilding bones and muscles and improving the immune system.
6. Cannabis helps with depression
Living with MS can take its toll on a patient’s mental health. Cannabis helps flood the brain with endocannabinoids, which alleviates depression. Still, if you are struggling with depression you should talk to a professional. There are also many websites that are helpful for coping with mental illness.
Researchers continue to study cannabis’s effects on multiple sclerosis and the results so far have been fascinating. Thankfully, medical cannabis research is moving forward. Cannabis-based MS drugs are already available on pharmacy shelves. It’s fair to say that the future looks bright for MS patients.
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