Advice to Extraterrestrials

If these ETIs really do exist, most of us would have to admit that they have terrible timing. Humanity is fractured, bellicose, paranoid. It's the cosmological equivalent of having a guest come to the door when you're in the middle of a knockdown, drag out fight with your spouse, there are lines of coke on the coffee table, and your pants are down around your ankles. It isn't the failure to communicate that fascinates me: it's the implication that these ETIs appear to have no interest in communication at all. And we humans, vain, egotistical creatures that we are, can't help but take that a little personally.

--Axiom's End, Lindsay Ellis

Indeed, if you are listening, extraterrestrials, I would advise at the very least that you avoud visiting the United States any time soon.

Katabasis

On equipping for a trip to hell and back: 

She had flashlights, iodine, matches, rope, bandages, and a hypothermia blanket. She had a new, sparkling pack of Barkles' Chalk and every reliable map of Hell she could find in the University library carefully reproduced in a laminated binder. (Alas, they all claimed different typographies--she figured she would get somewhere high up and choose a map when she arrived). She had a switchblade and two sharp hunting knives. And she had a volume of Proust, in case at night she ever got bored. (To be honest she had never gotten round to trying Proust, but Cambridge had made her the kind of person who wanted to have read Proust, and she figured Hell was a good place to start.)

--Katabasis, R.F. Kuang. 

I have been eagerly looking forward to starting R.F. Kuang's new novel, Katabasis, waiting only to finish the Indonesian language version of Stephen King's Misery first, which I have now done. (And which by the way, is far creepier than I remember it being, and creepier than the movie as well. I first read Misery many years ago, and so my memory of the novel itself was a bit vague. I remembered the movie version better, for I had seen it more recently and I have seen it more than once. But the movie, as I now realize, left out a number of truly chilling details.) 

But back to Kuang...

Katabasis, in ancient Greek, means The story of a hero's descent to the underworld, and this is quite literally, not at all figuratively, what Alice, the hero of this novel, and her sidekick Peter do in this delightfully comical tour of the nether regions, guided on their way by the necessarily imperfect knowledge and wisdom, the tartarology, of the ancient greats--Dante, Orpheus, Plato, Aeneas and the rest of the whole crew--Oh, and throw in TS Eliot, though not so very ancient. By page 6, where the bit about Proust appears, I was laughing out loud, and I've been chuckling ever since through the next 130 pages or so. 

For a literary person, or one familiar with academia, this novel touches a symphony full of familiar chords. It is kind of like Kuang's previous novels, Babel and Yellowface, only on hallucinogenic drugs. On the other hand, it will surely be unsatisfying to those who enjoyed her fantasy trilogy, the Opium Wars (which I did not. Sorry, R.F.).

I love the playfulness here, the tongue in cheek humor, the vast sweep of literary, religious, and philosophical references all spilled out across the narrative plane like tiddlywinks in the search of a stable pattern. Who knew that the twisting path through Hell would lead to such pleasant reading!

Too Much Sun

A few days ago, the Russian man who was renting the house behind mine, which is owned by Louise and Wayne, came to my door late at night to drop off the key with me, as he was moving out. I was to hold it for Wayne. 

So far so good. 

The following morning, the maid who works at the house behind mine, and whom I have seen many times and occasionally had a chat with, came to my door asking for the key, as she was going to clean up after the Russian had departed. 

Still no problem. 

The problem waited till that night, when the maid showed up once again to return the key. This time, however, I thought she was my maid, Kaka, for some reason. I have been expecting Kaka to come to my house on Friday to do cleaning here, so after taking the key, I mentioned this.

Friday, right, right? I said. 

Friday? 

Yes.

Here?

Yes.

Why?

The poor girl's consternation was clear, but not so clear, in truth, as mine. My mind was working. What's happening here? it asked. What am I missing? Wait, is this in fact Kaka?

Slowly, sludgy gears grinding in my mind, I put it together. This was not Kaka. This was not my maid. She would not be coming here on Friday 🤪

Oh. Sorry, I said. I'm confused. 

She patted me on the shoulder, smiling sympathetically. 

You got too much sun at the beach today, Bapak.

Here in Indonesia it is called pikun. In English we call it senility.

Crocodile Rock

Looking across the waters of the gently lapping bay at the Port of Sanur, I can see the skeletal structure of what was once to have been the central meeting house of a theme park, now long ago abandoned before it had properly begun. Apparently the land had been illegally purchased or something. The park had been roughly hewn from the jungle, pathways had been partly lain, a crocodile pond dug and lined with cement and fenced and even, according to legend, stocked with crocodiles. The central house had once had walls and a roof but the materials of those had long since been cannibalized for the wood for use elsewhere. What remains now are mere slats, white as bones, rather miraculously still standing despite wind and weather. See me, for here I forever die, they say.

Through the ensuing years, the jungle has reclaimed the land, broken up the pathways, hidden all the old plans, buried whoever's dream this had been, and yet rumors and tales of crocodiles persist. Some few had survived, it is said, and hide to this day among the crawling roots and reaching vines, living on rodents and smaller lizards and maybe even cats and dogs. (They're eating the cats! They're eating the dogs!).

I once wrote an article about this place, this old project, for the Bali Times. What had it been called? I don't remember. Sunrise Circus, perhaps. Or Crocodile Carnival. I don't know. 

I wonder why it is still there, despite not being there at all. 

It's windy now and the wind tugs at my thoughts. Black clouds rise like smoke from the far hills across and beyond the bay even as the last rays of the sunlight set dim fire to the horizon. Nearby, nearer than the clouds, nearer then the far shore, nearer than the old carcass of the abandoned park, two girls sit at a table with sweet chocolate colored drinks and I watch them as they do a kind of choreographed dance with their hands and fingers. Something they had seen in a music video, perhaps. They laugh and giggle and do it again and again. It must be perfect, it must be carefully synchronized. I wonder what it means. I wonder what people are saying these days.

Sometimes, as a matter of fact, not rumor at all, real crocodiles are seen in these shallow waters near the shore. It is said that they come down streams during the flood stage. Warnings are issued in the daily press. Swimmers beware. 

Beware of what is real. Beware of what is myth. Beware of things that are only partly seen within the wind and beneath the waves. They could be tangled together like a dance, a song of rhythm and inscrutable signs.

Mati Aki

As I headed out as usual for Sanur a few days ago to have my usual morning coffee and pastry, I noted that the battery light was lit up on my motorbike panel. Damn, I thought, I'd better turn around and head for Honda service. The last thing I want is to be stuck somewhere with a dead bike. So I changed direction and headed up Jalan Buyon toward Renon where the nearest service center is located. 

Straight away, I ran into a ceremony, a long procession of the Hindu faithful parading toward Sanur. Damn, for the second time. Now here I am trapped in the middle of a parade, going just about nowhere, expecting that at any minute my motorbike well choke and cough and die. The red battery light glowed angrily. 

Miraculously (or so I thought at the time, anyway), the bike did not die. I arrived at the Honda service center, parked at the outer edge of a crowded lot full of bikes belonging to people who had arrived long before me, and proceeded into the front office. 

To my surprise, the woman at the desk gave me her immediate attention, rose from her chair, and went to fetch one of the mechanics. I followed the young man out to my bike, handing him my keys. Here we go, I thought. I wonder how much this is going to cost me. 

The mechanic started up the bike, and the light did not go on. Of course it didn't.

It was on, I insisted. It really was! 

Well, as it turned out, and as the mechanic explained to me, it is not unusual for the battery light to shine, and it is not a problem. All I needed to do is drive around and around for a while. That charges the battery. 

So I don't need to buy a new battery? 

Nope. Just drive. 

Drive, he said. 

Happy with this simple solution to what turned out to be nothing, I mounted my bike, began to back up toward the street, and then suddenly everything was going sideways. How can this be, I wondered, as I helplessly watched myself and my bike go down to the pavement. I still don't understand how this happened. It was just like in that old TV commercial. You know, I've fallen and I can't get up! And how about that, it was real all along. I had fallen, and I couldn't get up! What I do know is that I fairly quickly ended up flat on my back, even bonking my head at the end of the fall. Luckily I had already put my helmet on. 

But my goodness, how embarrassing, how humiliating. A half dozen people shrieked, a half dozen others rushed in my direction. 

Aduh aduh, what happened, Pak?

Damned if I know. 

Anyway, they picked up my bike. And then they picked me up, setting me back on my feet. And I went on my way, red-faced, feeling stupid. 

Unbelievable! All of this trouble over a red light that ended up meaning nothing. Sheesh. 

Fingerpainting

My brain cannot communicate without my fingers. My fingers are the actual voice of my brain. It is they that relate my thoughts in full. My brain thinks these thoughts in an amorphous sort of form, the thoughts rattle around for a while, and then proceed to my shoulders and down my arms, thence to the hands and finally to the fingers, which then press the proper keys on a typewriter or a laptop or a piano or whatever medium is required for expression. 

Without my fingers, I cannot think. Without the interpretation that happens in the fingers the result of my cogitation is clunky, homely, half-baked, repulsive. 

Writing is like using a Ouija board. You set your fingers on the disc at the center and you wait for words to appear. 

Writing is like fishing. You cannot generally see what is beneath the surface of the lake, but you know that it is there. Your hands, your fingers do all of the work, for it is they which hold the fishing pole and feed out the line. 

The trouble is, my fingers don't work anymore. The fingers on my right hand are consistently arthritic, curled in toward the palm. They no longer think. They are mere dumb appendages. And my left hand is, in the first place, only a left hand after all, and secondly often numb. I use voice type now. And that's what I'm saying. I am saying that this, that everything, is not what I meant to say. It is a stillborn version of what I meant to say, or rather of what my fingers would have said had I still their use at my disposal.

Long ago, in my first couple years of college, I was a music major and my instrument was the piano. I was never very good at reading music. Its translation from the printed notes on the sheet of music to the keys of the piano was painstakingly slow. And yet once the information had traveled in full from my head to my fingers, it was thereafter imprinted in the memory of my fingers. They would play the piece automatically, no longer requiring my eyes upon the page of music. In fact, I did not look at the printed page at all once the information had been stored in my fingertips.

At the end of every term, we would have to perform a piece on our chosen instrument for the department head. I remember approaching the piano on these occasions with nervous trepidation, thinking I don't know this piece, I cannot read the music if I get stuck in the middle. And yet, my fingers had no need of my brain, or of my eyes. Astoundingly, they performed the piece without me. Empty-headed, I merely watched, and thought My goodness, how marvelous. 

Gosh I miss my fingers. I miss the things they used to say.

Caterpillar Season

It's caterpillar season here in South Bali. Or centipede season, or whatever these multi-legged crawley creatures are. They are brown critters, or black with yellow stripes, and they are all over the place, outside and inside. Every day I sweep a number of them out of my house in the middle of their explorations. It's hard to tell just what they are up to. Their travels appear aimless, round and round the front patio, in and out of the house beneath the doorways. Searching for meaning, perhaps. Them and me both. But they're not really bothersome. They don't bite nor do they sting. They merely wander. 

I drove this morning to Pantai Matahari Terbit, the closest beach to my house, needing merely 5 minutes or so to get there. The beachfront has been totally changed from what it used to be, the long line of ticket seller booths gone (tickets for the boat trips to nearby Islands), replaced by a row of small cafes with oceanfront sitting areas. Rather pleasant, really, although a bit hot in the morning, facing as it does the rising sun. But that, after all, is what Matahari Terbit means. Sunrise Beach. Nonetheless, it is easy to find a table in the shade, where you can enjoy a morning coffee and the novel you brought, and maybe even a cookie or a pastry as well. And there you have the sound of the ocean waves crashing into the rocky shore, a sound rather reminiscent of the Oregon coast. The rest of Sanur lies on a quiet bay. It's nice to hear the sea lifting its voice a bit higher for a change.