A Letter to My Agent

Dear Neil--

I don't want to seem pushy, but you simply must sell my book to a publisher soon, if only so that my wife will stop bugging me about "wasting" my time at Starbucks (which is where all these profundities--those already in your hands, and another truck load since--are put to paper, in anticipation, of course, of posterity).

If you are having trouble with the big houses, try approaching a less prestigious firm, or maybe even one of these fly-by-night deals. Anything will do, for you see it's not the money that concerns me so much as appearances. In short, I need credentials.

It may interest you to know that I already have another book underway. This one is called The Mysterious Blob Near the Dawn of Time. It is about this ancient Japanese queen called Himiko. It may sound a bit obscure, but I think it will sell, as long as the first one sells. That's where you come in.

As far as advances go, I will accept anything that will cover two cups of Starbucks every morning. Without the Starbucks, you see, I could not do the writing, and without the writing I cannot long continue to consume the Starbucks.

It's a pickle, as you can see.

Best wishes,


RW