Friday, June 11, 2010

And the Relapse Goes On, and On, and On ....

When you've gone an extended period of time without experiencing MS symptoms, say 6 months of good health, it is hard to deal with the symptoms when they recur. It's almost like getting MS all over again. You've learned a new life during your period of good health, and now suddenly you're back again to the fatigue and the confusion and the aches and the stumbling gait.

In short, it's a real bummer. This morning I tried to live the life I have become accustomed to, and the next thing I knew I was dead asleep in my bed. Mind you, this was this morning, after I had just got done sleeping the whole night.

I woke up, surprised to find that I'd been out like a light for four hours. I remember that sometime during those hours my son was trying to ask me a question, and I just couldn't understand what he was saying. I just couldn't wake up. It reminds me of when I had mononucleosis. Always does.

In the morning I had gone up to the cafe for coffee, just as I always do, taking my laptop along with me--and I sat there in a daze, entranced, completely unable to do the things I had been doing every morning since February 2010.

When I walked back home I kept trying to correct my gait so that people on the street wouldn't think I was drunk. I feel like wearing a sign, the same way I used to feel--a sign that says I HAVE MS--CAN'T WALK, CAN'T THINK, BUT A NICE GUY IF YOU GET TO KNOW ME.

Now how long do I have to endure this when I have better things to do?

1 comment:

Suzanne said...

Hope you are feeling better by now. I just went through a flare or maybe relapse, not sure yet and I understand when you say getting hit with symptoms after feeling good for some time is a bummer. I agree completely.
For me it's disheartening and a letdown. I am in the recovery stage now and am grateful for that.

Best wishes,