Post Election Thoughts

 I woke up at 3:30 in the morning here in Bali with a painful knot in my stomach, having gone to bed on election day with things looking like they might well be leading to a Trump win. Though it was still dark outside, I figured it must be nearing daylight, so I got up, made myself a cup of tea, turned on my phone, went outside for a smoke, only to find that the hour was only 3:30. 

The first news I read on my phone screen was that Joe Biden had won in Wisconsin. 

I read next that he appeared to have a win in Michigan. 

And the day began to look brighter. I went back to sleep. My stomach stopped hurting. 

By the time I rose again at 6:30, it had become fairly clear that Biden would win the election, given that he needed at this point only to carry Nevada and Arizona and both seemed very close to being called in his favor. 

Do I feel relieved? Of course I do. But how relieved, really, can one be by the gain of such a thin victory in what was hoped to have been a slam dunk election? Are we not left to face, win or lose, a decidedly ugly picture of America--an America that would nearly elect, for the second time, a man who had devoted himself to four years of reprehensible behavior, to insults and childish fits, to stoking the flames of dissension, coddling his favorite hate groups, groveling before dictators, alienating allies, encouraging racism, and finally to contributing to the death of thousands through his incompetence in dealing with the COVID pandemic? Can we really call this good news? 

You know, when I was scrolling through Facebook the other day, I happened to pass an article with a title that went something like this: Is this, after all, who we really are?

Sadly, the election has shown that, yes, it really is. One might expect to see a small percentage of voters who cast their votes for a detestable character--such as those who voted for George Wallace back in the 60's, for instance--but for half of us to vote for Trump, even after the four year opportunity to see the truth and repent? No, this is not a victory. This is a tragedy. 

On the other hand, I was talking to a good friend in Jakarta on election day, feeling pretty morose at the time, trying to express my sadness at what my country had become, when she said "Well, what does it really matter to you? I mean, what does it have to do with you? You don't live there anymore. You haven't lived there in ten years." 

She has a point. What does it matter to me? Why does it matter to me--in such a personal, painful manner? I left America at perhaps America's best. President Obama was just in his first term. Things looked uncommonly hopeful. We had turned a new, and a seemingly permanent leaf. Yes we can, was the refrain. So why not, for my own part, just leave it at that. Thanks for the memories. 

Yes, from here forth I think I'll make myself known not as an American any longer, but as a citizen of heaven. Eventually, my passport will be stamped in that manner anyway.