Here and Gone

I seem lately to have periods of lucidity which suddenly arise from a more general sort of fogginess or dullness. Suddenly, my mind will become sharp and active and I will find myself writing artfully and intelligently. This is not one of those days. Most days are not one of those days. More generally, I will awake in a sort of stupor, wander out to the backyard for a cup of coffee, light up a cigarette, and then just kind of sit there, waiting for my mind to boot up like an old-fashioned desktop computer, like dial-up internet. I drag myself through customary tasks, getting dressed, grabbing something simple to eat, a piece of toast, a boiled egg, preparing for nothing in particular. Eventually, I drag myself out to Starbucks, thinking that I really should do something. Most of the time, I am in pain. The neuropathic problem in my neck and shoulder and back is relentless. So I sit at Starbucks, drinking my coffee, thinking that I should go home and lie down. And then one day, unannounced, unexpected, my mind will suddenly light up, fill up with orderly and purposeful thought. Words will return like rain to a drought pocked landscape and suddenly I am swimming in a freshwater lake. Suddenly I am me again. Words tingle in my fingertips and fall breathlessly upon the open page, irrepressible, bright, shimmering, such that they seem not even my own, more like dictation than invention. And then the lights dim again, the fog rolls in, the water recedes, the sky grows gray and obscure. I recall having awakened for a time, but I don't know how I did it, I don't know how to get back again. I recall the enthusiasm, the joy of engagement, and mourn its departure. I am enveloped by an unnamable, unreasonable loneliness, a stone-like, mountainous sense of regret, fatigue, impotence, exhaustion. The world has boxed itself up and sent itself elsewhere, and I alone remain, longing to be rescued. 

On Word Choice

When Samuel arrived yesterday morning to clean the house, I found him in unusually high spirits. It soon became clear that the reason for this was that his wife had just given birth to their first child, a son.

"Well, that is happy news!" I said.

As there were no cigars in the house, I offered him a shot of whiskey instead, which Samuel enjoyed so much that he offered himself another, and another.

"Just take the whole bottle," I said. "I don't drink anyway. It's just been sitting here untouched for a year."

When Sam was done working, we sat and talked for a time (strangely, he was rather more talkative than usual), and before he left, I congratulated him once again on the birth of his son.

Later on in the afternoon, I was visiting with my friend, Hendra, at the nearby Starbucks, and I mentioned the unexpected celebration of the morning. I explained to him that Sam's wife "beranak", which I understood to mean 'had a baby'.

Hendra broke into laughter.

"No, no, Bapak. You can't say that! Beranak is only for animals. If a human being, you must say 'melarhirkan'.

Ehem.

I really must apologize, next time I see Samuel, for referring to his wife as an animal!

Agung 2

One of my neighbors back in Portland, Oregon, was Mt. St. Helens, about 70 miles north in the State of Washington. Thus it happens that angry Gunung Agung brings back some memories.

In 1980, Mt. St. Helens erupted. It turned out to be the deadliest, most economically destructive volcanic event in the history of the United States. Fifty-seven people were killed, 15 miles of railways, and 185 miles of highway were destroyed. The eruption itself reduced the elevation of the mou...ntain's summit from 9677 feet to 8363 feet. Ash covered the earth all the way down to the streets of Portland and hung in the air like a thick, acrid smog. People were advised not to go outside without wearing a facemask due to elements in the cloud harmful to the respiratory system.

The house I lived in at the time just happened to be high on the slope of one of Portland's higher hills, Mt. Tabor. The big picture window at the front of the house faced directly north, such that it became like a movie screen. We watched the whole thing, never having to turn around the look at the TV at the back of the room.

Praying now for the folks in the danger zone of Agung, and that old man Agung, the axis of the universe, may soon take a deep breath and reconsider more peaceful options.

Agung

Here in Bali, the island is on a level 3 (of 4) warning for an eruption of Mt. Agung, the highest point in Bali at a bit under 10,000 feet. The mountain last erupted in 1963-64, killing more than 1500 people. Villages within 7 kilometers of the base of the mountain were destroyed. Mt. Agung is believed by the Hindus to be a piece (replica) of Mt. Meru, brought to Bali by the first Hindus. It is the site of the island's most important temple, Pura Besakih. This time around, people are being evacuated from the area in an orderly manner, just in case. We shall hope that the mountain settles back to sleep soon.   

Humor and MS - a Free Online Lecture

On Sept 27th, GeneFo, a free medical community platform, will be holding a free online lecture titled :The Medical Benefits of using Humor to Manage MS". The speaker will be Ms Yvonne deSousa (author of MS Madness). 

Please take a look at the following links. 

Link to register:  tinyurl.com/Humor-and-MS

Facebook Post: https://t.co/Un8Hi6Kuu3

Link to article on MS New Today: https://multiplesclerosisnewstoday.com/2017/09/11/ms-humorist-yvonne-desousa-in-genefo-webinar-offers-tips-on-how-laughter-can-make-you-feel-better/ 

​

Abou

GeneFo is a free  medical crowd sourcing platform that allows people affected by chronic conditions like MS  to track their condition management and also get access to free tools like clinical trial matching, comparative tools (so people can see what others like them are doing) and  educational resources. 

American Horror Story

Interesting new season of "American Horror Story" (so far). The American horror in this case is the election of Donald Trump Seriously. God bless free speech. Of course, it goes deeper than that. When is fear reasonable, and when a matter of personal issues? Which threats are real, and which imaginary? At what point does fear itself become one's greatest fear? What is really unravelling - the world or one's own psyche?

Gut Feeling

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/09/gut-microbes-could-help-trigger-multiple-sclerosis

An interesting article on the latest culprit in the cause of  MS.