Cop Stop

So get this, folks -- I'm driving up the highway this morning, headed for Hypermart to grocery shop for the week, and along comes this policeman on a motorbike.  He points mem over to the side of the road, just on the siding by the police post.

Following orders, I take a quick inventory.  Helmet: Check.  License: Check. Registration: Check. Following road rules:  Check.

"So what's up?" I ask.

"Where are you going?"

"Hypermart."

"Left or straight."

"Straight." 

"Ohhhhh.  Why you in the left lane then?  Left lane must turn left."

"I wasn't in the left lane."

"Oh yes."

"No."

"Hmm.  Let me see license."

He takes a good long look at my license, taps it with his finger.

"Hmm, not good."

"Oh yes, good, very good. Just fine."

"Oh ya?"

"Ya."

"Where you get those sunglasses."

"Jakarta."

"I try yes?"

"Ok."

He tries on the glasses. Looks around.

"You give to me."

"No, cannot do."

"Yes, you give."

"No, was present from my wife. No can give.  She be very angry.  She is a terrible bitch."

"Oh ya!"

"Ya."

"You must simply fuck her hard then."

"Oh ya?"

"Ya."

"Okay, I'll try. But you still can't have the glasses."

"You must give."

"I no give."

And so on and so forth.  Where are you from. Wherre is your wife from.  How long have you been here. Where do you live.  How much you pay for these glasses.

Realizing at this point that he will get no money from me, nor will he get my glasses, he returns the glasses and asks if I have a second pair.

"You bring those next time, yes.  I meet you here.  You bring more glasses."

And so it goes.  Life on the island of Bali, practically paradise.