My Newly Discovered Active Lifestyle

The first thing I decided to do after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis was to climb a mountain. Why? I don't know. I guess because it was there, and it just seemed like the natural response to being essentially crippled.

Curiously, as I flipped through the pages of various MS magazines, I found that almost everyone else having MS had already decided to do the same thing, and moreover had for the most part already done it. (I know this because there were pictures).

I determined therefore to not only climb a mountain, but to do so in the dead of winter, preferably in the midst of a blizzard. A blizzard of unprecedented proportions. And a hurricane on top of that, if at all possible.

Just now I'm still waiting for the proper weather conditions, and in the meantime collecting the needful supplies in anticipation of the day. Ropes, for instance, grappling hooks, a decent pair of boots, a stocking cap and ear muffs, mittens (naturally), a loaf of bread for a crumb trail, and of course my various medications, as well as candy bars and cigarettes. I figure the Copaxone will stay cold enough in the expected climate (which is good, because I certainly do not intend on lugging a refrigerator up the side of a mountain--not in my condition).

In preparation for the big day--by way of toning up, I mean--I have begun to look into the idea of marathon running, as I see (also from the magazines) that this form of endurance exercise, though seemingly quite out of the question, is actually quite common among MS sufferers--preferred, though only slightly so, above hang gliding and minor league baseball.

Who knew that a disease would turn me into a sporting fanatic? God works in strange ways indeed.

Climbing, Leaping, and Other Compulsions Associated with Multiple Sclerosis

Why must the onset of multiple sclerosis lead so often to a sudden desire to climb mountains or jump out of airplanes?

I see it so depicted in magazine after magazine, in brochures and in seminar invitations, to such an extent that I can hardly deny it must be so; and yet I have to admit in all honesty that I have not experienced this same compulsion, neither before nor after being diagnosed with MS.

Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong, something lacking in my particular case of MS?

I cannot help but feel guilty. Shouldn't I be wanting to scale something--the neighbor's garage, for instance--and then straightaway wanting to leap from the highest point thereof?

Once upon a time Satan was talking to Jesus.

He brought Him to Jerusalem, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. For it is written:

'He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you, and in their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.'"

And Jesus, perfectly free of MS, mind you, as well as any other bodily malady, answered thus-wise:

"It has been said, 'You shall not tempt the LORD your God.'"

It occurs to me, where mountain peaks are concerned, that if I was supposed to be on one, God would have put me there in the first place. After all, He had the good sense to put the monkey in the jungle and the whale in the sea; the worms in the ground and the bunnies in the bushes.

And what did He put on the mountain peak?

Snow.

Do I have a witness?

Nonetheless, it is the testimony of our eyes, upon the perusal of all the available material, that among all the curious symptoms associated with MS is the sudden inclination also to perform great feats of strength and daring--feats which, incidentally, are now quite beyond our capacity--white water rafting, surfing, bungee jumping, kangaroo riding, tree climbing, marathon running, and such-like.

How does this hyperactive, somewhat pointless impulse come about? What is it about damage to the central nervous system that causes skydiving?

These are questions that need further research. For now I can only admit to the existence of the symptom, and bemoan its utter lack of presence in my case. As it stands, I cannot climb the mountain--the stairs in my house are enough. I cannot commune with the clouds in the sky, for those in my brain are sufficiently thick on their own.

Can someone say amen?