Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Latest

By now we have probably all heard about Alemtuzumab, an encouraging new treatment for MS currently undergoing study in Britain. Alemtuzumab, a drug originally developed to treat leukemia, should not be confused with Alahmtuzumab, a prominent sheik in Yemen, or with Aleczktuzumab, a popular kiwi flavored soft drink enjoyed in Yugoslavia.

In the United States, pharmaceutical giants invested in what are now appearing to be less productive poisons, such as Avonex and beta seron, are royally pissed off. Ad campaigns are already underway encouraging Americans suffering with MS to remain wary of the Brits and to continue to buy American.

In the meantime, laboratory rats approached at various experimental drug centers were noncommittal regarding the possible beneficial effects of Alemtuzumab. Many thought it to be just another of them big scientific words, while a few believed it to be a green cheese associated with Portugal. A large percentage, however, expressed worry over job security.

In related news, Sheik Alahmtuzumab has filed suit against the University of Cambridge for identity theft. The Aleczktuzumab Kiwi Soda Company has declared bankruptcy.

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