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Friday, March 27, 2009

Happy Trails (or is it Trials)

Had my first Complimentary Customer Care Conversation with the Copaxone Consultants yesterday (too bad yesterday doesn't start with a C). You know, the ones where a representative calls in order to share how easy, and actually fun it is to inject yourself with toxic substances. Got my free products coming, of course--a durable plastic storage container for 30 glass syringes, another plastic container for travel, and a gel pack for injection sites. I was hoping for some Cuban cigars as well, but it looks like these are no longer being offered (if they ever were).

I also had the opportunity to rate various aspects of treatment and personal satisfaction on a number scale--1 equalling No, not really, and 4 meaning Yes, I love it!

When asked about my level of commitment to the treatment, I answered 2.

This apparently caused some red flags to shoot up with the interviewer.

Why 2? Are the injections unpleasant? Is there something we can help with? Do you believe you really have MS, or are you unsure? Do you need more literature about Copaxone?

No, it's just this irritating, unreasonable gut feeling that I cannot seem to escape--the feeling that somehow when ones body objects so strongly to the introduction of this or that foreign substance, it could somehow mean it's not a good idea.

Your body objects? How do you mean? Is there something about the injections that you don't like?

Well, I uh . . . .

Would you like to have one of our nurses visit your house?

No, I'm just saying . . . .

Are you having pain? Are you depressed? Do you have questions? Are you dizzy, breathless, confused, disoriented, having chest pains, gangrene, paralysis, loss of vision or function in any body part?


You know what? I wanna change that 2 to a 3. It's really not a 2 at all. I don't know why I said 2. It's more like a 3, honestly, or even a 3-1/2. In hindsight, I'm changing it to a 3-1/2.

Now that's more like it, Mr. Boughton. Keep yer chin up, will ya?

Happy trails to you, until we meet again . . . .



3 comments:

LISA EMRICH said...

LMAO!! This is a great post, Mr. Jim Dandy. Sorry to tell ya, but the Shared Solutions folk will keep calling you and keep calling you periodically for at least the first year. And every time you speak with them, you will receive the drug information sheet in the mail. It's the law. :)

Nina said...

I hated those calls!!! I imagine I'll get one soon since I am at about 9 months to 1 year.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I believe "Shared Solutions" goes about the whole therapy thing in all the wrong ways. Even after talking with their nurses for three months, they still refused to believe that I was actually having more and more problematic reactions to their drug.
Best thing you can do is remove yourself from their calling/mailing list and contact them if you want to.

Brian Regan does a pretty amusing skit which covers the number rating scale for pain. Your closing remarks reminded me of it. Thanks for the laugh :D