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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Moon and the Sun do Matter

Maybe the problem is with Tuesdays.

I can go back and check easily enough, look through my records, do some research of my own. The doctor's have their theories, I can have mine as well.

What if my confusion comes mainly on Tuesdays? What would this mean? Would it mean, perhaps, that there is nothing wrong with me, but something wrong with Tuesday.

What about Tuesday would cause pseudoneurological symptoms of clumsiness and confusion? Could it be somehow astrological, the positions of the planets, the attitude of the moon? Surely there is something to this, for they have been talking about it since the beginning of time. Is it really just witchery and superstition, or is it the foundation of science itself?

Am I grasping at straws here, or are the straws grasping at me?

I suppose the critical test would be to somehow find whether everyone is affected in a like manner by Tuesday--in which case, were this to be a positive finding, we would have not only a scientific curiosity on our hands, but an actual conspiracy--though the identity of the conspirator will remain an enigma.

But I guess nothing is ever this simple. A more likely scenario would be that different people are affected by different days--depending upon the shape of the cosmos and ones particular relation to it that is. For instance, a person born in August may be more sensitive to Thursday, May to Sunday, and so on.

My day is Tuesday, or rather I am its. Every Tuesday I am stricken with cognitive disorder, memory loss, general confusion and clumsiness--all very easily mistaken, admittedly, for symptoms of multiple sclerosis. But that's how it goes with medical disorders. You give something a name, and so it is known. My dog, for example, used to be just another Labrador before we bought him, now he is Smoky, a family member.

Tuesday-itis, that's what I call it. Cut the day from the week, and I'd be just fine.

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