Comfort Care Only

OMG, I was so sick on the Avonex last night. Just like the first injection, 1-1/2 years ago. This has happened for the past three weeks now. Sick after I take the shot, feel like road kill all the next day. Why I am suddenly reacting so severely to the Avonex? Who knows?

In any case, I put in a call to my neurologist this morning. Unfortunately he will not be back in the office until Monday. As it stands right now, though, I am thinking that I am not going to take another shot. Maybe change to Copaxone. Or nothing. This is like two damn days out of every week, and in my mind it is adding up to an unacceptable compromise in quality of life.

My wife asked me (again) if I was going to die. Well, not from MS, but maybe from the Goddamn Avonex, yeah.

Let me tell you, I was shaking so bad that it was getting to be more like a seizure than a flu-like symptom. I tried to light up a cigarette, but my arm was so wild that I was just as likely to stick the thing in my eye as between my lips.

Teeth chattering, shaking almost uncontrollably, I climbed into the bathtub. A good hot bath always calms down the shakes. But guess what? The hot water runs out.

So I am sitting there in about 2 inches of water, still shaking. My head feels like it's going to explode. My neck feels practically paralyzed. I crawl over the edge of the tub like some sort of worm, dry myself off (what little water I got on me anyway), and head for the bedroom.

This is when Coco, the Chihuahua, comes to the rescue. He's a little dog, but he is incredibly warm. Coco gets under the covers with me and snuggles himself into my chest. Then Smokey, the Labrador, comes in. He lies down on the other side.

Thank God for dogs.

Today I just feel kind of wasted and worn down, still a bit feverish, with a bit of a headache. The thing is, I'm going to have to work until 11 tonight, and I know I'm going to be tired as hell. Time to take a Provigil or two.