My girlfriend, Eveline, was here this last week and we were able to spend seven days (and nights) together. During the last couple days of her stay, her sister also visited and so we got to spend time with her as well. Or rather, I got to spend time with her. Eveline of course sees her on a regular basis back home in Java. Since the weather was rather poor most of the time, we spent much more time in the house than we had during her previous stay and Eveline made use of this time by cooking for me--a rare treat for someone who has been generally cooking the most boring meals possible for the last few years just for simplicity's sake. I used to prepare full meals when I was married and when my stepson lived with us here, but on my own it just seems like a very tedious task, and an unnecessary one. That said, I should have been putting more effort into feeding myself. I started to get more serious about this after I last saw my doctor and got some blood tests that were fairly screwed up. Who knew that eating well can make a difference? Lol. So I had already begun to prepare fresh meats and vegetables and fruits when Eveline came, and then she took over and cooked a number of delicious Indonesian dishes for me. And even froze some of the offerings in little plastic bags so that I could continue to eat well for another week or so. A good woman can make all the difference in the world, right?
But here's the bad thing about this good woman: her parents suck.
Here's the situation. Back in central Java, her parents, who own a traditional market, pay Eveline an unusually large salary to work there so that Eveline can pay for her two daughters' college tuition and so on. Essentially, it is the parents who are paying the tuition, and just calling it Eveline's salary. (Were her daughters not in college, Eveline would make a mere fraction of her present salary). Perhaps they do this for tax purposes. I don't know.
All well and good to this point. Nice parents, right?
Wrong.
Because when Eveline suggested that she might want to move here to Bali, they answered that if she did so, they would no longer pay for the schooling. She must work at the store, receive the salary, and pay the tuition.
It's extortion, right? Or something like that. Lol. Quid pro quo? If they are paying for the schooling anyway, what difference does it make whether Eveline is there in Java or working here in Bali?
To me, it seems a matter of control. And it's not just money. In fact, Eveline must make up a lie whenever she comes here to Bali because her family would consider it a grave and unforgivable sin to be visiting a boyfriend. Horrors! Therefore, she cannot come here often. I last saw her some four months ago, I believe. Instead of being happy that she has found someone to love, they would consider it some sort of betrayal of them and of their own twisted sense of morality. And to be honest, it's not really about morality at all. It's about how they would look to their close-minded, cultish little community. It's not about Eveline. It's about them. What will the neighbors say?
It's about selfishness.
Yeah, so, quality time will have to do. The kids are, after all, of the first importance.
There was some talk about the possibility of me moving to Jogyakarta, but that wouldn't really solve matters. We could see each other a little more often, though she would still have to travel some two hours to the city. Most of the time, though, I'd be stuck in the middle of depressing, repressive central Java with little to do in this sort of landlocked dungeon of a city. Her parents would still not pay for the schooling if she left her little town nor could we spend intimate time together, as such things are actually against the law in Java. Eveline's sister told a chilling story while she was here in Bali. A man and a woman were living together in a house in her neighborhood. One day a nosey, self-appointed morality policewoman came to her door to report this scandal. She was, she said, recruiting the neighbors for an en masse visit to the house of the two sinners. Eveline's sister said, "No thanks, I'm not interested," but the old biddy went ahead and gathered her mob which then descended on the unsuspecting couple. Ultimately, the police were called in as well. Need it be said that the young couple is no longer together?
Where are we, right? The dark ages? Trapped in a Hawthorne tale? In a Shirley Jackson horror story?
Good Lord.
Speaking of whom, did he not say something about he who is without sin casting the first stone? Judge not lest ye be judged?
Sounds familiar to me, but I guess some have not yet heard the good news.
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