Friday, May 15, 2009
Blind Love Is The Cure
Last night I went almost blind in my left eye. I was kissing my wife at the time. I observed my growing blindness as we kissed and said nothing about it. I wondered how life would fit me half blind, and sensed that at the very least it would be somewhat irritating.
Then we made love and by the time we had finished, I could see again.
My latest theory, therefore--completely subjective, wholly without supporting data, and dependent upon this one incident alone--is that sexual intercourse repairs damaged myelin at something like the speed of light.
It is a happy finding, for obvious reasons. The only problem that I can presently foresee is the danger of this leading to over population. In the case of over population, birth control is, of course, a ready remedy, although this in itself might well result in an over balance of Catholics.
It is a slim price to pay, in my estimation, and so the risk seems quite acceptable.
In any case, babies aren't really as bad as they seem to be on the surface.
Now, this hypothesis, this theory of mine clearly needs further investigation, further research, a respectable period of time and a respectable number of individual sessions. I'll be the first to admit it. In addition, the finer points will need to be explored. What is the effect of position upon myelin? What is the effect of foreplay? Does it matter who is on top? What about same sex myelin repair? And so on.
As can be readily appreciated, I will need to solicit a certain amount help in order that no one person should become over-taxed, or even die, from the expenditure of too much energy on too prolific a basis. I will offer no reward, but rather participation will be purely voluntary, and should be, for obvious enough reasons, its own compensation.
Applicants will remain as anonymous as possible.