Friday, April 28, 2017

A Dream

After returning from my morning coffee today, and then doing a few household chores, I sat down to write a bit, but soon found that the big fat brown dog who visits the house almost every day had laid down to sleep next to my chair, and the more she slept, the more tired I felt as well. So I thought I'd lie down for just a few minutes, and awoke about 4 hours later. 

During that unintentional nap, I had a long, vivid dream. It seems that it was my son's birthday and we were all at my uncle's house, including my parents. My parents, as well as my aunt and uncle, passed on some years ago, but, as often happens, they were perfectly alive in the dream. My son was sort of an unwilling participant in his own birthday celebration. He seemed annoyed by the whole thing, and like he would rather not have been there. 

At one point early on in the dream he was explaining to me that I had never truly communicated with him. I kept trying to discover more exactly what he meant by this, but he seemed comfortable enough with stating that I just didn't get it and never would. 

There was another young man in the dream (it seemed that both my son and this other fellow were in their late teens), and my son and he were getting along famously, which made me very happy. They were in their own world, doing their own thing. 

There were presents for my son, especially from my father, with which he was unimpressed and disinterested. 

And then it began to snow outside. There was perhaps an inch of snow on the ground and my son was running about and sliding on the snow. 

Snow in late April, I kept saying! It's unheard of! 

At some point there was a conversation with my mother. I was telling her how completely I disliked my uncle, how I would never forgive him for his attitude regarding my brother, who had died of cancer, and my mother started crying and kept saying that I must forgive, I must forgive. 

In the front yard many people had gathered for the party and had brought presents which they placed on a table. They seemed to be acquaintences of my aunt and uncle. I did not know them. One older man came over to talk to me. He had suffered a head injury, he explained, and could not think straight anymore. Also, he had lost his left eye. There was a hole where the eye had been, and he stuck his finger in the hole to show me that there was no eye. 

Well, I understand, I said. I can't think straight either. 

At last, we were about to go home. It had been a two day party, and both I and my son were feeling kind of pissed off because no one told us we were going to be there for two days. 

And then I woke up. 

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