Symmetry

I'm having another of those days today where I just cannot seem to stay awake. I sit awhile, watching TV or whatever, and my eyes become heavy, fatigue washes over me from shoulders to toes. I lie down and sleep, again, following eight hours of sleep the night before. I sleep for perhaps a half hour, get up again, think about going out somewhere, but straightaway wander back to the bed and fall asleep again. My shoulders ache, my neck aches, and my right side aches. It's not an unbearable pain, but it is constant, tiring. I really should go see a doctor, but the very thought is more tiring yet. I don't know what to tell him, I don't know how to explain this, and I doubt that there is any help for it anyway. 

So I've finally dragged myself out for a coffee, 3 o'clock in the afternoon. My fingers drag their way through typing this (hard to believe that I once made a living through their speed and sureness). Earlier in the day I actually had gone out, but discovered upon arrival at my destination that I had forgotten my laptop on the front patio chair and had no locked the gate nor even closed it, and so this necessitated an immediate return to the house, and upon returning, I fell asleep. 

The last time around, between sleep and consciousness, I was thinking that someone must surely write a dystopian novel about our dysfunctional times--perhaps they are writing it at this very moment. Someone will figure out the logical end to the vague and imbecilic collapse which must come of the country as we have known it--something along the lines of 1984 or Brave New World, you know? It won't be a pretty picture. 

Before I left home, I look my temperature because I felt like I was burning up. Not an unusual occurrence. Rather, a daily occurrence. This, the doc once said, is related to auto-immune disorder. There is no fever. It is a trick of damaged nerves. But the knowledge doesn't stop the burning heat. 

Tyger Tyger, burning bright, 

In the forests of the night;

What immortal hand or eye,

Could frame they fearful symmetry?