Disconnect

I was chatting online this morning with a young Indonesian woman, a girl of college age, who for some reason decided to describe her views on sex. 

She did not like to be constrained, she said, by common societal restrictions such as apply to sex before marriage. As far as she was concerned, there is no need for marriage in general, and certainly no need for marriage before sexual relations. 

For example, she saw no problem with going to bed with a friend, although her friends, and of course the society at large, judge her badly for this view. 

Well, eventually we moved on to what sort of foods I most enjoy eating here in Bali. I mentioned a few, including babi guling. 

"Oh, no," she said. "I can't have that. I am Muslim."

Hmmmm …. 

On the Obnoxious Anonymous

I find myself this morning roundly attacked on Facebook regarding a comment I made about the movie Joker. I always find this sort of thing very strange. Why are people so angry? Why would they respond so hotly to a comment from a random person on Facebook? I could see expressing an intelligent objection to my opinion, a discussion of the intent of the movie, but why the suggestion that I perform all sorts of anatomically impossible feats upon my person? 

Joker has become the subject of rather intense debate. There are those who insist that there is a political message, although just what that message is ranges from rejection of capitalism to the ascendency of Trumpism, and so on and so forth. Most film critics seem to feel that the movie was pointless at worst or simply failed to make its point at best (and I'm inclined to agree). 

I did, however, see a review on a Catholic website that managed to find some considerable worth in the movie--not as a political statement but as a cultural statement regarding the failure of society to meet the needs of its weakest members, those who are marginalized, especially by mental illness. And the Joker himself is most certainly mentally ill, and could have been helped at many steps along the way by a compassionate society.

But there are many among us, especially when they are able to be anonymous (as on Facebook), who are decidedly less than compassionate--who, in fact, are looking to be unkind, abusive, which must, I presume, come from some seething anger within them.

Language as Taught Versus Language as Spoken

Language as taught in textbooks is occasionally at odds with language as employed by native speakers. I am always happy therefore to be corrected by someone kind enough to take a moment to explain. 

We are told for instance in the text books that "selamat tinggal" is a correct form of saying 'goodbye'. If someone is leaving a place--say a friend who has been visiting for instance--we are to say "Selamat jalan". The person leaving is to say "Selamat tinggal to the party who is not leaving. 

However, I was told yesterday that, in reality, saying "Selamat tinggal" is quite inappropriate, as it conveys, colloquially, a sort of curse, indicating that that person staying behind is actually about to die (from the verb "meninggal").

So, yeah … good to know. 

One is to say simply "Sampai jumpa" (see you next time), or some variation like "Sampai nanti" (see you later) or Sampai ketemu lagi (until we meet again). 

There are other forms within the language group where one thing in Indonesian means quite another in a local language (such as Balinese). One may ask, in Indonesian, if you'd like more to eat. "Masih lapar?" (still hungry?). The proper answer in Indonesian, if you're not hungry, is "Sudah kenyang" (I'm already full). In Balinese, however, 'kenyang' means that you have an erection--which, of course, always inspires peals of laughter). 

So, yeah. Again … good to know. 

In addition, there are many words that are employed in one island group but not in another. If you are in Java, "Mas" means 'young man'. In Bali the word "Bli" is used, meaning the same thing. Similarly, words of Arabic derivation will be commonly used in majority Muslim locales and not used in Hindu or Christian locales. 

In short, it's all more complicated than straight textbook grammar and diction. 

Curiously, I am told that a young woman (the friend of a friend) wonders if I can teach her to speak "American". Of course, there is no such thing as the American language. We speak English. On the other hand, there is such a thing as American when compared to Australian or the Queen's English (in fact, there are times when I have no idea what an Australian is saying). So, sure, I will try to teach the young woman 'American'. Although it may be (and probably is) that I myself am rather rusty where current usage is concerned.  

New Arrival

As I walked into Starbucks the day before yesterday, a man sitting at one of the tables gestured to me, asking me to come over for a moment. He introduced himself as "Peter" and explained that he had often seen me here. 

So we got to talking. Peter is from the Netherlands and has stayed in Bali off and on through the last ten years. It turned out in the course of the conversation that he was unhappy with arrangements in his current residence, a small apartment complex in which he is the only tenant. The main problem, he explained, is loneliness. Further description also revealed that he was paying way too much for a room he could get for half the price where I am living. 

The same day, Peter came and looked at the place--at the vacant room that just happens to be directly next door to my own--and ended up moving in the same day. 

So I have now a neighbor from the Netherlands. 

Peter seems to be a nice old fellow (I can say 'old fellow' because he is actually older than I, albeit in better health)--very sociable, happy to be in a community again. 

The arrival of Peter makes the apartment complex full now, a big difference from being empty but for me and one other resident just a few months ago. The more the merrier, I guess. 

Not an Australian

Why do people here, western and Indonesian alike, always mistake me for an Australian? I mean, the American accent, in every manifestation--Southern, Eastern, Midwestern, West Coast--is nothing like the Australian accent. I mean, I can pick out an Australian or a German or a Dutch person, or a French person or, indeed, an American, the minute that person opens his or her mouth. Maybe it's because there's really no such thing as an American accent. We all come, after all, from somewhere else.

The Alienating Effect of Social Media

There is a bitter sort of irony to be found in the fact that social media, which is ostensibly meant to make human connection and understanding easier, can actually have the opposite effect, making one feel more alienated than ever. Silence is not a huge surprise when one cannot be readily or extensively heard, yet becomes particularly deafening when one knows that his words have not fallen into empty space but into a space teeming with ears. Moreover, the absence of response, especially to things that tend to be more heartfelt or personal than would be likely to come up in casual conversation, can seem the same as rejection. Worse yet, there are those even in high places, people of "great and unmatchable wisdom", who use various social media platforms specifically in order to denigrate and insult others. Although this, admittedly, is an extreme example. In any case, it is clear that if we did not desire a response, we would not bother to speak (or post). And it is equally clear that the sound of crickets is not what we were looking for. 

Joker

I don't usually bother with watching movies like "Joker" (or Batman, or The Avengers, or X-Men, or whatever). I had read, however, that Joker had something to say about what had led such a large portion of the populace to vote for Donald Trump, and so I decided to give it a look. 

Frankly, I didn't see what it had to do with Trump or with any particular political statement. The movie was interesting, however, to the extent that it was probably just about the most depressing movie I have ever seen, relentlessly dark and dismal, unsettling. 

I remember reading recently a Facebook entry by an Indonesian woman who warned against taking one's children to the movie. One imagines, naturally, that it's going to have something to do with Batman, superheroes, supervillains and such like. Not at all. I suppose it is about why and how the Joker became the Joker, and it certainly is a pitiful story of human unkindness and abuse--and it is much too strong and too real to be appropriate for children. So I would echo the same warning. 

Joker actually bordered on being a good movie, and I will say that the performance of the main player, as the Joker, was impressive--so intense, really, that it was sometimes hard to watch. However, I can't see that the narrative ever focused on any redeeming idea or commentary. In short, I can't recommend it.