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Thursday, December 7, 2017

Morning

So, this is my morning. I wake up at about 6:30, who knows why. I always wake up at about 6:30. Clock in my head. I remember the dream I was having and turn it about in my head for a while. Very often there has been something irritating or worrisome about my dream, something I would prefer not to think about in the waking hours, so I consider the thing, what it may mean, how I may apply the knowledge to my life this day and thereafter. I resist actually getting up for a while, because my rested body feels almost normal and because the Xanax from the night before is still doing its thing more or less. But finally I get up, open the front door for the big fat brown dog and then open the back door so that I can go out and prepare a cup of coffee and sit with the sun on my back for a few moments. The big fat brown dog shows up, looking for breakfast and then, having eaten, wanders into the bedroom and falls asleep. After smoking a cigarette, it's time for a shower, because the cold water in the morning feels good on my already aching neck and shoulder. Several hours then magically disappear and the next thing I know it is 10 o'clock and time to ride my bike over to Starbucks, to set up at my usual table, and to write something silly like this. Here I will stay until about noon, and if my barista friends are not busy, they will come out and chat with me. I've kind of lost track of what to do after all this, for no one awaits me now, there is no 'to do' list, no task nor demand other than the usual household tasks, which can always be done tomorrow. Everything has changed, and has become almost immediately the same. Chameleon-like, I fit in. Bisa buat apa lain?, as they say in the language. What else can one do?

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