I will often meet people online through a particular website for Indonesians who want to learn to speak English, and after chatting for a moment they will invariably say "What may I call you, sir?"
"Richard is fine," I answer.
"No. Cannot. It would be impolite."
This sounds very strange to an American. How could it be impolite to call me by name? And yet there it is. It simply cannot be done. I must be mister or sir or pak or om.
Why then do they ask to begin with?
But, you know, after years here one gets used to it, so that hearing his name alone uttered sounds suddenly odd or improper, too familiar. Richard? Who's Richard? I'm Pak Richard. I'm Om Richard. I'm Tuan. I'm Sir. Who are you to call me Richard?
One becomes acculturated.
Indonesians are an extremely polite, gracious people, and yet sometimes polite to the point of avoiding contention or debate--and that can actually be a problem. Which makes this also something a foreigner has to learn how to manage, the proper way culturally to negotiate a matter of contention.
The culture for an expatriate does not cease to be strange. The strangeness merely becomes familiar.
"Richard is fine," I answer.
"No. Cannot. It would be impolite."
This sounds very strange to an American. How could it be impolite to call me by name? And yet there it is. It simply cannot be done. I must be mister or sir or pak or om.
Why then do they ask to begin with?
But, you know, after years here one gets used to it, so that hearing his name alone uttered sounds suddenly odd or improper, too familiar. Richard? Who's Richard? I'm Pak Richard. I'm Om Richard. I'm Tuan. I'm Sir. Who are you to call me Richard?
One becomes acculturated.
Indonesians are an extremely polite, gracious people, and yet sometimes polite to the point of avoiding contention or debate--and that can actually be a problem. Which makes this also something a foreigner has to learn how to manage, the proper way culturally to negotiate a matter of contention.
The culture for an expatriate does not cease to be strange. The strangeness merely becomes familiar.
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