The latest MAGA maniacism involves the earth-shaking discovery of a giant Chinese balloon floating over Montana and eastward. OMG!, they shriek, this would never have happened if Trump were president! Why hasn't Biden done anything?
Great Balls of Fire! Or at least air. And who knows what else? Maybe there is a man with a Jewish space laser aboard. Or Hunter's laptop. Or Elvis.
I myself have two theories. So far. The first is that Bozo the Chinese Balloon Seller accidentally let go of a whole bunch of balloons, helplessly watching them float into the sky. In this case, we need not be overly alarmed (although of course it is sad for the little Chinese children). The second is that the balloon belongs to the Wizard of Oz.
What I find most outrageous of all is that the Chinese would spend billions on high tech satellite technology and construction and then opt for launching a balloon instead. What a waste.
Ah, but there lies the clever ruse!
They're spying! They're photographing our nuclear sites! They'll see the big board!
But wait, another sinister balloon has been spotted over South America. God knows what they're observing down there at heretofore unheard-of microscopic range. Peruvian nuclear missile sites? Nude beaches in Brazil? The flora and fauna of the Amazonian rainforest? And to what end?
It boggles the mind.
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