Baby It's Cold Outside

Once again, 'tis the season to object. I'm not sure when this sort of thing started. I do remember when Christmas was just Christmas, without any particular objection. But at some point people got in the habit of feeling offended. 

The usual objection has been to overtly religious displays. God forbid that the celebration of the birth of Jesus should be tainted by … well, references to Jesus. Bluntly 'religious' carols had to go, and manger scenes and other distasteful images like the cross and wise men and shepherds in the field and so on. There has even been the feeling in some quarters that the word Christmas itself must go, that it would be somehow more polite and considerate to say 'Happy Holidays'. 

But this year's objection (or the first one I see, anyway) is of a different sort. We are to object now to the old song, "Baby It's Cold Outside". 

I saw this news just today, and my first response was Huh?

Well, yes. We are told that this song is not appropriate in the 'Me Too' age. We are told that the lyrics are misogynistic, sexist, insulting, and may even promote rape culture. 

Oh, God. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of the Me Too movement. I'm also a big fan of pizza, but one can go too far with these things.  

So, here are the lyrics (parts in parentheses sung by the male, non-parenthesized by the female): 

I really can't stay (but baby, it's cold outside)
I've got to go away (but baby, it's cold outside)

This evening has been (been hoping that you'd drop in)
So very nice (i'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)

My mother will start to worry (beautiful what's your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (listen to the fireplace roar)

So really I'd better scurry (beautiful please don't hurry)
But maybe just a half a drink more (put some records on while I pour)

The neighbors might think (baby, it's bad out there)
Say what's in this drink? (no cabs to be had out there)

I wish I knew how (your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (i'll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

I ought to say, no, no, no sir (mind if I move in closer?)
At least I'm gonna say that I tried (what's the sense in hurtin' my pride?)

I really can't stay (oh baby don't hold out)
But baby, it's cold outside

I simply must go (but baby, it's cold outside)
The answer is no (but baby, it's cold outside)

Your welcome has been(how lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (look out the window at this dawn)

My sister will be suspicious (gosh your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (waves upon the tropical shore)

My maiden aunts mind is vicious (gosh your lips are delicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more (never such a blizzard before)

I've gotta get home(but baby, you'd freeze out there)
Say lend me a coat(it's up to your knees out there)

You've really been grand (i thrill when you touch my hand)
But don't you see? (how can you do this thing to me?)

There's bound to be talk tomorrow (think of my lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (if you got pnuemonia and died)

I really can't stay (get over that old out)
Baby, it's cold
Baby, it's cold outside

Scandalous, right? Very inappropriate. Unhealthy.

Pfft.

The song has now, in the year of our Lord 2018, been banned by multiple radio stations. Clearly these lyrics encourage sexual aggression and predatory attitudes--the idea that women may be restrained against their will, badgered, and plied with drinks, going as far as to suggest that a man may put something in the drink! 

Given that these lyrics were written in 1944, the author may well have intended to suggest that something had been added to the drink--something like an extra shot.

Baby It's Cold Outside has been performed by countless singers, including Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Michael Buble, Tony Bennett, Doris Day, Dolly Parton, Idina Menzel--and so on.

Little did these folks realize that they were promoting sexual assault.

Huh. And all these years I thought it was just a story about a boy pursuing a girl and a girl playing hard to get. How naïve of me.

Then again, I wonder.  Could it be that the only inappropriate thing here has been the imposition of the corrupt, cynical, paranoid sensibilities of our time on a more innocent age? 

Worth thinking about. 

But in the meantime, and in keeping with the modern spirit, let's all try to be just a little bit less pleasant and a little less human this Christmas.