I once told a young woman whom I had not yet met that I was better in print than in person. A sort of advanced warning mechanism, I suppose. Prepare to be disappointed.
Gosh I miss that girl!
And I reckon that the statement is now truer than ever, for I was still relatively young at that time (almost anything is relatively young compared to 65), I was still healthy, energetic, strong, able. I could function in all the basic ways a woman would expect.
At the same time, my mind has remained the mind of the person who once upon a time said those words. Or rather, wrote them. I have a child-like mind. Or should I say childish? Whereas I myself, in my body, am sedentary, slow, sleepy, dare I say slovenly, my mind is youthful, playful, active, quick--a clean, well-lighted place.
Jekyll and Hyde.
I very much enjoy chatting online with younger people, laughing, flirting, jousting, while at the same I dread the suggestion that we should meet. Because, you see, the person you are talking to online does not exist in the flesh. Even though you are looking right at me, I am not there. I am here. I both am and am not the person you know. I am trapped within the irrepressible downward spiral of age and illness, and the only way out is quite superlatively extreme, and takes along no travel companions.
Gosh I miss that girl!
And I reckon that the statement is now truer than ever, for I was still relatively young at that time (almost anything is relatively young compared to 65), I was still healthy, energetic, strong, able. I could function in all the basic ways a woman would expect.
At the same time, my mind has remained the mind of the person who once upon a time said those words. Or rather, wrote them. I have a child-like mind. Or should I say childish? Whereas I myself, in my body, am sedentary, slow, sleepy, dare I say slovenly, my mind is youthful, playful, active, quick--a clean, well-lighted place.
Jekyll and Hyde.
I very much enjoy chatting online with younger people, laughing, flirting, jousting, while at the same I dread the suggestion that we should meet. Because, you see, the person you are talking to online does not exist in the flesh. Even though you are looking right at me, I am not there. I am here. I both am and am not the person you know. I am trapped within the irrepressible downward spiral of age and illness, and the only way out is quite superlatively extreme, and takes along no travel companions.
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