Blank

Another blank day, but different in some way than others. I don't feel confused, just blank. It's probably just life, as far as that can be differentiated from MS. Everything has a way of getting shuffled over time, so that what used to be readily apparent becomes just this or that card mixed in with all the rest.

I no longer ask quite so often "What am I so tired?" It has become a state of being, part of who I am. I am no longer surprised that I cannot feel my feet. Rather, it would seem odd if I could feel them, for the old feet walked out of my life more two years ago. I have not seen them since. I am now used to the ones I have.

One thing I am asking, however, is why were my Copaxone shots today and the day before SO DAMN PAINFUL!? Did I go too deep? Not deep enough? I mean, they were not painful when the needle went in, but within seconds this deep down aching showed up, and grew and grew until I could hardly stand on the leg, let alone walk around on it.

As always, I ask myself "Is this a good idea? Can it really be a good idea? To inject something that makes your leg feel like it's going to fall off?

Common sense would appear to provide its own clear answer--and yet I continue, day after day, for my faith is locked up in the conclusions of "the experts."