Long Time No See, Seems Like Yesterday

Early this morning I received a letter from 1966. It was a letter from my brother, dead since 1982. Or was it from my cousin, still among us?

I guess it was each of the three. It depends on how you look at it.

The letter came in the form of an e-mail from my cousin, David. Copied into the e-mail--or scanned rather--were several pages written by my brother, Gary, in October of 1966.

I found myself looking therefore secondhand at something I had held in my own hands on the day it was written, some 43 years ago. As a matter of fact, the document bore my handwriting as well as his.

I not only remember these pages, I remember holding them, I remember the feel of the notebook paper, the smell of it, the smell of the ink (my brother had always loved writing with a felt pen).

I remember it just as if I had been there. But wait . . . of course, I had been. I was. Now I am.

After reading these pages, I went outside and sat on the porch step. I sat smoking a cigarette. It was hot already. Resin had begun to drip from the leaves on the apple tree.

Sudah lama sekali kita tidak berjumpa.

My brother stirred, having slept. He opened his eyes just slightly, squinted against the light.

He says, Remember?

Yes, of course.

Why do you speak in strange tongues?

Because it is the only way. I wanted to say something, but did not know what. I can only say what will not be understood.

Okay. I see. I understand.

I thought you would, my friend. I knew.