Need to recuperate somehow, take some downtime. A lot of stress recently has given the MS a couple of good hard twists, and I end up entirely sprained--mind, body, and soul. Feels like a combination of mononucleosis and Parkinson's disease. Just want to sleep, but muscles keep hopping all over. Feel kind of like something that's dead, but its nerves keep on twitching, ya know?
I had to take two hours off work last night. Just shut down, unable to think, feverish, aching. I just crashed. Fell over into bed in my clothes and the lights went out.
No such luxury tonight. Must find a way to stay awake and function.
In the meantime what I want to do, what I mean to do, my freedom of action outside of work gets shoved to the back burner, delayed, postponed until further notice. There are not enough resources to go around. Obviously this makes life rather dreary. But there you have it. It's the old up against a brick wall scenario.
I read recently that the Japanese nation during the last year of World War II, desperate for oil to fuel its war machine, employed tens of thousands of her children in digging up roots that produced a small amount of a substance that could be turned into oil. Drop by drop. Literally a drop in the barrel.
That seems pretty close to my present level of functioning.
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