Noses

I was chatting this morning with a charming young woman at Starbucks--the girlfriend of my good friend Hendra, who works there--and she happened to mention that she thought me handsome. 

"Well, thank you," I said. 

"Yeah, all bules (westerners/white people) are handsome."

There may actually have been a hissing sound as the air went out of my ego. 

"Umm ... Ratih," I said, "Don't say that I'm handsome, and then add that everybody else is handsome too." 

She laughed, instantly realizing her error.

"But .. I mean ... you're more handsome than the rest," she amended. 

It is a curious thing that most Indonesian women will find western men (and women, for that matter) more attractive than they. In the same way, one will often find western men who consider Indonesian (or Asian) women most attractive.

"I like your nose," Ratih said. 

"My nose? What's to like about my nose." 

"It's big."

'You like my big nose?" 

"Oh, yessss. That's why bule's are more attractive, because of the big nose. I want my nose to be bigger." 

"But Ratih, many, if not most bules prefer a small nose on a woman. A nose like yours."

"Yes, I know," she said, pulling on her nose nonetheless as if she might stretch it a bit.  "And dark skin; while what we Indonesian girls like is light skin."

It's true. She is quite right. They consider light skin, whether on a woman or a man, more attractive than darker skin; while, at the same time, one will see bules out on the beach tanning themselves under the baking sun in order to be darker, and thus more comely. 

Strange. Things seem at cross purposes here.