Phone Parking

I did not understand until just recently what these new stickers on the tables at Starbucks mean. 

Park Your Phone Here

#disconnecttoconeect

I will admit, albeit sheepishly, that I thought at first sight one could place his cellphone on the indicated area and it would automatically connect or disconnect! Wow, I thought. What will they think of next? How very convenient! 

It didn't work, of course, but I thought that I was no doubt doing something wrong. In any case, it didn't really matter, because my phone connects and disconnects automatically as a product of its proximity to a wifi station. 

But no, several weeks later I learned, from an advertisement on Facebook, that these table decals are meant to encourage people to put their phones down and actually connect face-to-face to the people they are sitting with. How's that for a concept, right!

The only trouble is, no one ever sits with me. The chair on the opposite side of my table is generally perfectly pointless, aside from kind of producing a symmetrical appearance. If anyone does sit with me, it is either one of the baristas who work here and always sit with me at break time anyway, or someone who is trying to sell something--masquerading, at first, as just a friendly human being. Oh, they're interested in connecting, all right. With my bank account. 

Another thing I note is that people seem actually to avoid placing their hand phone on the picture of the hand phone, as if fearing that if they do so, they will be unable to check their latest social media chatter. Perhaps trash bins attached to each table would be more effective. 

Nonetheless, I will continue to wait patiently for someone to take advantage of the empty chair and of the phone parking spot in order to connect on a personal level--preferably a beautiful young woman with no ulterior motives.