Rough night last night. Just a lot of pain in the shoulder and back. Put myself to sleep with a Xanax, but was awaken several times by breakthrough pain. Woke up permanently at 5 and just got out of bed rather than continue to lie there for no good reason. Feeling a bit depressed now. Or perhaps I'm just sleepy. Still in significant pain this morning, I took one of the oxycodone tablets Louis gave me. Only a couple left now, and these cannot be refilled in Indonesia, as they are illegal here (she got them in Australia after surgery for a breast cyst but didn't need to take them herself).
Sometimes I spend a considerable amount of time stewing over what I'm supposed to do about this situation eventually. I have often looked toward the time when I can benefit from Medicare in America, which is another year away; but then I wonder 1) where I would find the money to even get to America and 2) how I would survive there whilst benefitting from the health insurance. It's a kerfuffle, no doubt about it.
That sort of thing can keep a person awake all on its own without the need of any physical pain. So I think maybe I could just jump off a cliff if things got screwed to an unbearable point--but then again, I don't like cliffs and I'm kinda scared of heights.
Ultimately, I fall back on Philippians 4 as the answer to things that have no answer.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Sometimes I spend a considerable amount of time stewing over what I'm supposed to do about this situation eventually. I have often looked toward the time when I can benefit from Medicare in America, which is another year away; but then I wonder 1) where I would find the money to even get to America and 2) how I would survive there whilst benefitting from the health insurance. It's a kerfuffle, no doubt about it.
That sort of thing can keep a person awake all on its own without the need of any physical pain. So I think maybe I could just jump off a cliff if things got screwed to an unbearable point--but then again, I don't like cliffs and I'm kinda scared of heights.
Ultimately, I fall back on Philippians 4 as the answer to things that have no answer.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
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