During my month and a half of super-flu (or is it bubonic plague?), I have entertained many and various conceits and deliriums ranging from obsessive examinations of the past to doubtful narratives of the future, and of course everything in between. Among my more cogent thoughts has been the realization that Indonesia is probably not the best place for a man who is increasingly tending toward illness and has no health insurance. It occurred to me that a knowledgeable, functioning health system becomes a thing of increasing importance (understatement).
This is no fun, obviously. I would prefer to be active, able, and healthy for the remainder of my life, up to the point where I just peacefully die in my sleep--an unreasonable expectation if ever there was one. (My father always said that I am not a reasonable person).
I love Indonesia. I love Bali. I love this congenial society. I love living in a nice place with beautiful surroundings and a pool. I do not like the idea of living in a closet in a cold and dingy part of Portland (or wherever), eking out an existence on government assistance so that I can "enjoy" the benefits of seeing competent doctors.
But when you are ill (as I still am ill), the mask of stubbornness, gradually peeled away, begins to show madness beneath.
There are those here, for whom I am forever grateful, who do their best to be helpful. And yet, they are not doctors, they are not caregivers, and some are not even often available. They have, after all, their own lives. When contracting an illness in Indonesia, one is fairly likely to grow more ill yet in the course of his efforts to try to do something about it. (A motorbike is not an ambulance, common alleviating medicines, antiquated now in the West, are not cutting edge measures).
In short, marshalling my meager resources for good reasoning, I cannot avoid coming to the conclusion that my days here in paradise are numbered. Enjoy them while I can, to the extent that I can? I guess that's what I will do--if I can ever manage to get over this flu, that is.
This is no fun, obviously. I would prefer to be active, able, and healthy for the remainder of my life, up to the point where I just peacefully die in my sleep--an unreasonable expectation if ever there was one. (My father always said that I am not a reasonable person).
I love Indonesia. I love Bali. I love this congenial society. I love living in a nice place with beautiful surroundings and a pool. I do not like the idea of living in a closet in a cold and dingy part of Portland (or wherever), eking out an existence on government assistance so that I can "enjoy" the benefits of seeing competent doctors.
But when you are ill (as I still am ill), the mask of stubbornness, gradually peeled away, begins to show madness beneath.
There are those here, for whom I am forever grateful, who do their best to be helpful. And yet, they are not doctors, they are not caregivers, and some are not even often available. They have, after all, their own lives. When contracting an illness in Indonesia, one is fairly likely to grow more ill yet in the course of his efforts to try to do something about it. (A motorbike is not an ambulance, common alleviating medicines, antiquated now in the West, are not cutting edge measures).
In short, marshalling my meager resources for good reasoning, I cannot avoid coming to the conclusion that my days here in paradise are numbered. Enjoy them while I can, to the extent that I can? I guess that's what I will do--if I can ever manage to get over this flu, that is.
2 comments:
Having competent medical care could lead to better outcomes for daily living for you. There are many affordable places in U.S that are sunny with affordable living. If you can manage with a golf cart or motorbike it is doable. If you don't need a large grand place, it is doable. Nw is not that place.
Mb--Yes, I understand. I'm mulling it. I'm sure that if I were well again, I would straightaway forget the idea of returning to America, and I do continue to hope at this point that I will be well again. Who has the permanent flu anyway? "Sunny", however, is not the issue. In fact, Bali's climate is rather harsh, with extremes of weather that are bothersome even without illness. We get about six months of really nice weather here, six months of weather ranging from nauseating to deadly. Lol. It is the culture and society that I enjoy most, the more relaxed quality of life, the kindness of the people.
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