Passage

I was chatting online with a random fellow the other day, just sharing some general details about our separate circumstances and situations and such-like (with an eye toward communicating effectively in our two languages), and upon learning that I live alone here in Bali, the fellow seemed alarmed. "Aren't you worried, on your own there, that something might happen to you?" he asked.

I guess that sometimes I do worry. I simply try not to think about it. When I am feeling relatively well, it's not a concern. But if I am ill or have some kind of other trouble, yeah, I do feel a bit concerned. Where can I turn?

Of course, I do have my ex-wife here, who does a pretty good job at checking in and seeing if things are in order. But then again, she is increasingly abroad and out of contact. What if there is some sort of immediate need. Like death. Lol.

But you know, my son died alone, with no one to help him, know one to even know that he had died until a few days had passed--and I reckon I ought to be at least as courageous as my son. How much did he suffer? We don't know. How long did it take? We don't know. What we do know is that he is well cared for now. What bothers us is the pesky details of the passage, not the final arrival.